(a pot of oats simmers on the stove in the blue Panjim kitchen -- comfort food is tasty for breakfast, no matter the current living location.)
I cook for so many reasons -- to nourish myself and my husby, yes -- but it is a far more layered activity . . . One must eat at least three times per day (well for me, about 5 or 6 -- I must have a snack pack!) and I've concluded that these dining experiences can be a sensoral ritual, full of flavor, aesthetics and joy -- they may as well be! Cup-o-Noodles, Lean Cuisine, energy bars--they've never been my thing.... that stuff is for those who eat because they have to get the eating done, not for types who are prepping for lunch a moment after setting down the fork from breakfast (I made and ate this and this in a 5 hour period one big cooking session recently.) An interest, hobby, obsession -- whatever your passion is, it just hits you upside the head.
For me, especially being far away from family and US life, I find I cook to connect with my inner self, my stable self, the person inside who is innate and unafraid-- the voice that says, "you're okay, you're cooking. you do this no matter where you are, it's home when you cook." So I've been a bit compulsive here in Panjim with the cooking -- to eat and nourish, but also to feel safe and cozy. And not so foreign.
Putting together the next meal is an outlet, an event, an exploration, something to research, refine and ponder when the lights are off and I'm staring into the ceiling, the fan illuminated by street lamps. I'm sure this cooking and eating will evolve as life changes -- jobs, locality, time-- they all influence the way that I think about food -- and yet they don't. I always seem to find my way to the stove. In times of duress, I bake, lulled by the satisfaction of following clear directions, magic chemical changes in the oven and sweet results. When happy and carefree, a more intuitive, semi-deranged, hands-throwing-ingredients-into-a-pot-without-thinking takes over. It's casual and free-flowing, the genes of my cantalope-wizard-chopping-mother coursing through my veins. Either way, happy or sad, stressed or balanced, homesick or at home, I'll be in the kitchen working it out.
Why do you cook?
You hit the nail on the head!--I cook for virtually all the same reasons: to work something out, to feel more present, to engage myself fully in something, to have the satisfaction of completing something (and it is usually sweet:), to share myself with others, and to connect to myself on a deeper level. What a wonderful experience for you and Dave, Lee! I am so happy for you!
ReplyDeleteI love your ideas here. i was never a cook but did like concocting food sans recipes...or minimal recipes. Then came the husband transformed into a gourmet cook, and i have retired to service as a sous chef and dishwasher, both noble activities. Left to my own devices, however, there is still a secret cook inside. As i get older, i gravitate to two extremes...organic fresh California and Mississippi down home. I still lust for biscuits and sausages but am delighted to find vegetarian chorizo is delicious. I collect recipes but rarely take them out later, settling for whatever looks good in the store at the time. Instead, I am lucky enough to slobber over your yeasty pancakes that appear on my computer screen. It's like reading a great book...not quite reality and thank heavens, an escape from this real world reality. A little shot of spirits, non alcoholic and quite dreamy. cissy r.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I cook? I ask myself that at least once a day. Why me and not the rest of my family FOR me! I have to admit it.. I like the eating part a LOT better than the cooking part, but you have inspired me to make cooking more of a happy, joyful, creative ritual. LOVE your blog! I might even have to go and make some of that banana bread Yum!
ReplyDeletethis post is from the heart, and it's beautiful. and you're beautiful. this bit of writing really seems like it just wrote itself.
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ReplyDeleteL, i share your passion for food. The only thing for me that makes it better is to feel the growing medium in my hands and eat the food minutes from the harvest...I have built an "eating room" in my garden where i can harvest and eat among my growing plants in warmth in the middle of the winter. Loved your thoughts on the psycho wonders of food prep.
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